www.survivorcaucusva.org
Survivor Caucus logo and text, unless otherwise marked, copyright 2008-2009,
Survivor Caucus, VSDVAA
Contact:

e-mail -- survivorcaucus@gmail.com
admin@survivorcaucusva.org

phone (VSDVAA hotline) -- 800-838-8238
Jess's story . . .


   My father raped me from the time I was 11 until I turned 16. He kept
telling me that he was doing it in order to make me straight. He
perceived that I was a “homo,” as he called it, because I tended to dress
in athletic clothes and I hung out with a lot of girlfriends. What 12-year-
old girl hangs out with a ton of guys? By the time I was 16, I had
decided it was time to stand up for myself.

  I moved in with a friend and her parents and was legally emancipated.
Those first feelings of success and relief were tremendous.

  Not long after moving in with this new family, however, I became a
victim of sexual abuse by my friend, who was a couple of years older
than I. She said that maybe my father was right, maybe I was a lesbian.
I was in continual shock because the family that was going to protect
me from my father turned into a family that I needed to get out of. I
stood up for myself again and moved into an apartment by myself.

  During those tumultuous times, I relied on my soccer abilities to take
me places and to keep me happy. The 2 hours of soccer practice or a
game provided me with a time that I did not have to think: I could just
play. It was a time that I could excel and be worry free.

  I had made the U-17 national team, played varsity all 4 years in high
school, and had been recruited to play at Virginia Commonwealth
University. I knew at that time that the way that I would put everything
behind me was to leave my hometown in the Midwest and move to
Virginia.

   I picked up and moved to Virginia at the end of my high school
career and did not tell a soul about what had happened. Everyone asked
about my family, but I never told that I did not have a relationship with
them. I continued to play soccer for the University and used that as my
therapy.

   Once my soccer career was over, I began looking for a good
therapist and found one to whom I disclosed many details of my past
that I hadn’t told anyone before. It was my first trusting relationship in
many years.

  I continue to struggle with relationships and intimacy; however, I
remain happy with the person I am today. I continually give back to the
community and work with many foster children who have been sexually
abused. I feel that I can connect with the children and hope to provide
that trusting relationship that can start their healing at an earlier age than
my own.

  Through joining the Action Alliance’s Survivor Caucus, I have been
able to be myself while others know that I am a survivor. It affirms for
me that I am normal and that I am not alone. Camp Mabon was another
powerful experience that has helped me reconnect with myself.

  The self-awareness of feelings is what helps me to thrive, as I do not
have to constantly wonder why I feel a certain way. I have been able to
take my experience and embrace it. It is a part of who I am. I AM A
SURVIVOR!

Jess W.

e-mail -- admin@survivorcaucusva.org

phone (VSDVAA hotline) -- 800-838-8238
Please note: Web content on the subject of traumatic violence can trigger symptoms in
survivors. Users of this site who experience discomfort and may need help with managing
symptoms of traumatic stress can call the Alliance hotline at any time: 800-838-8238.
Survivor Caucus logo and text, unless otherwise marked, copyright 2008-2011,
Survivor Caucus, VSDVAA