www.survivorcaucusva.org
Survivor Caucus logo and text, unless otherwise marked, copyright 2008-2009,
Survivor Caucus, VSDVAA
Contact:

e-mail -- survivorcaucus@gmail.com
admin@survivorcaucusva.org

phone (VSDVAA hotline) -- 800-838-8238
Please note: Web content on the subject of traumatic violence can trigger symptoms in
survivors. Users of this site who experience discomfort and may need help with managing
symptoms of traumatic stress can call the Alliance hotline at any time: 800-838-8238.

Kathleen's story . . .
silent no more

  I’m a survivor of sexual violence that occurred more than 20 years
ago. As part of my recovery from that violence, I became involved in
local advocacy efforts and eventually created a career in the violence-
against-women field. People ask me from time to time how I got started
in this work. If I know them and like them, I tell them the truth. If they
are simply cruising through my life, I dodge the question a little and tell
them that a volunteer gig a long time ago just grew into a job.

 When I was a “baby” advocate, I told everyone about my experience
with sexual violence. It seemed important that I break the silence. But
as my career took off, I noticed that I seemed to lose credibility with
my peers if I talked about being a survivor. Mind you, I know that
easily half of the people in my field are survivors, too. But what will
other advocates, cops, prosecutors, or funders think if they know the
truth? “She’s just a radical,” or “She never got over what happened to
her.” Slowly I learned to keep my personal experience in the
background and push my professional experience out front. “Look at
my years of work! Look at my degrees! Look at my courthouse-ready
attire! I’m not a wacky survivor: I’m one of you.”

 Through my involvement with Virginia’s Survivor Caucus, I started to
challenge my internal monologue on the drawbacks of disclosing. I
decided the only way to address my concerns about losing credibility
was to face my fears.

 I was fortunate to be a part of a team providing cutting-edge sexual
violence training to prosecutors and investigators. I facilitated a piece of
training on the first day. At the end of that workshop, I shared how
important the training was to me because I had survived sexual
violence, and the generally supportive attitudes displayed by the first
responders had really advanced my recovery.

 My heart was pounding. The room was quiet (I think the participants
were stunned that I spoke out). But in the minutes and hours that
followed, person after person approached me and thanked me for
disclosing. Many of them, like me, had never disclosed because they
were afraid of losing their professional veneer. Maybe they too will start
to rethink their silence.

 I still don’t shout from the rooftops that I’m a survivor: I’m so much
more than a victim of violence. But my experience at the training
confirmed for me that it’s important for folks, both inside and outside of
“the work,” to speak up as much as we’re able. We need to speak for
ourselves, and we need to speak for those who are still trying to find
their voices.

Kathleen
Contact:

e-mail -- admin@survivorcaucusva.org

phone (VSDVAA hotline) -- 800-838-8238
Please note: Web content on the subject of traumatic violence can trigger symptoms in
survivors. Users of this site who experience discomfort and may need help with managing
symptoms of traumatic stress can call the Alliance hotline at any time: 800-838-8238.
Survivor Caucus logo and text, unless otherwise marked, copyright 2008-2011,
Survivor Caucus, VSDVAA